Crimplene-clad sex-object Mike Fab - Gere today made the bizarre claim that he did not in fact exist, but was merely a semi-physical hologram downloaded from the Internet.


'I was a sad,grey computer digithead driven mad by the Unix operating system', gushed Mike. I was working on my Sun Microsystems UltraSPARC workstation. I had a rush of blood to the head and thus connected myself to the World Wide Web. There was a blinding flash,
a bizarre grunting noise and the entire Internet downloaded itself into my trousers. All the creative juices of the sixties and seventies, including the departed spirits of pop stars long believed dead were reconstructed into groovy flared love-trousers. I am now ready to present the great hits of the past as they were meant to be, in my show Freak Out! as it tours the country. I can now honestly say I wrote all the hits in the show like I saw Her Standing There, Light My Fire and Honky Tonk Woman as I am now an Internet hologram, the pseudo- physical incarnation of the spirit of the 60 & 70s. All the great stars of the past formerly believed dead, like John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, Buddy Holly, Glenn Miller and Mozart are not dead at all - they're all out there in cyberspace - all we need is their Web address....'.


Mike's manager, 'Greasy' Doug Vanilla, poured scorn on Mike's claims. 'Mike is a sad old hippy whose best friend is a pot plant. Don't believe anything he says. Don't let him near any sharp objects. Just indulge him..... would you like to buy a T-shirt?'


Evidence that there may be some truth in the Love God's claims - this picture was found in the toilets at Abbey Road studios during wallpaper stripping and clearly shows Fab-Gere giving music instruction to a well-known beat combo of the time.
Picture of MFG with Beatles

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